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Thursday, October 25, 2007

The Phenomenon of Beauty

I came across something today. It's a company that evaluates your face to tell you whether you're beautiful or not. The company is called Beauty Rank & it uses cutting edge software technology to compare your facial features with other models in their database.

They charge USD195. Ngai Tee! I'm thinking like this kind of business oso got.

I just found it amusing though. They even have sample facial analysis of stars who are close to the 100% mark. Here they are:

Kristin Kreuk 95% Almost there. Only a difference of 5%. I think the company's expensive software is really stingy. It says her nostrils are too big. Money easily drops out of there.

Scarlett Johansson 96.9% only. The company's high tech software says her forehead is too low. The Feng Shui Master says this type of forehead can easily see ghosts & dead people.

Rachel Leigh Cook. Aiya. So cute only 97% meh?

Denise Richards 97.9% She was smiling before they announced her marks.

Aishwarya Rai 98.3% She lost marks on her 'slightly delicate nose'. Beware of the eagle's beak hook-nose.

Shakira 98.5% I think she shook too much down there - people are just not paying attention to her face.

Beyonce Knowles 98.7% It's about the nose again.

Shu Qi 98.9% Big nose, round face & thin lips lose points. Shu Qi, that Vietnamese boat people costume has got to go.

Halle Berry 99.4% Alllllmost there.

Jessica Alba got 103% Whysay! Overshot!

Angelina Jolie 103.9% Her lips look like cream puffs. I feel like eating them. I think they're big enough to feed hungry orphans in Cambodia.

Liv Tyler 103.9% Hokkien people say this is Bay-Been (Horse Face).

Naomi Campbell 106.3% Duhh. Supermodel mah.

Basically, my analysis of the whole analysis is that the company's software doesn't like round faces, 'short eyes', big noses & thin lips. If you guys follow this, you'll never be able to find a wife.

You can see the detailed beakdown of the calculations here! Yeah, like it matters so much.

Here's something interesting:
Genes inherited from parents are reflected in your overall attractiveness. The female face is a key factor when males select a love partner. Just by looking at beautiful faces the human brain achieves satisfaction. There are seven main characteristics of a beautiful face:

1. Higher forehead - increased brain volume (intelligence). Basically more room up there to store more things.

2. Bigger eyes with long eye distance - improved clarity & vision angle. That's why women always know what we are doing behind them. That's why they make very good teachers in class.

3. Dark and thin eyebrows - health & youthfulness.

4. Longer and darker eyelashes - resistance to weather. Can capture more dust. When she flutters her lashes, the wind can blow.

5. Narrow nose - better filtration of air.

6. Full red lips - healthy offspring. My mom strongly agrees. My grandma's main requirement.

7. Narrower face shape - less fat. (this is not me talking. It's from the company's website)

What these factors mainly represent is fertility, intelligence and longevity. And what all this means is that physical beauty does matter. Scary isn't it?

Oh, the website also gives advice on how to take model-like photos:
1. Slightly open your mouth.
2. Look down.
3. Clear the forehead from hair.
4. Slightly close your eyes.


WoMbOk™♂ said...

Despite her awful choice of career options (i.e. marrying Charlie Sheen) that picture of Denise Richards warrants a minimum score of 2,500. At least! lol.

Greg Wee said...

Ah Beng says:
100% beauty is a dream, an ambition.
200% is plastic surgery.
300% is a collector's item.
400% to be kept under glass in museum.
I can't imagine where to put a 2,500%!!!

Anonymous said...
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Anonymous said...

Hai, this is very nice blog, because these girls are very beautiful. I think their lips are so sweet. I would wish if my girlfriend also have such a sexie lips but she had thin lips earlier. At last she she had to take thin lips treatment from Dr.Rivkin. Now she looks like an angel.....lolzz

Anonymous said...

I have been told I look like Shakira and Beyonce, but am often told I look like Angelina and more recently, men have been saying I look like Jessica, does this mean I would fit the 'pattern'?

Greg Wee said...

lol. You sound more like a chameleon. :)

Anonymous said...

The top 3 are horrible. The rest are beautiful.