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Saturday, March 8, 2008

Ah Beng Good Boy Go Voting

With all the heat from the election campaigns that have been going on for the whole two weeks, how could I not fulfill my responsibility & exercise my right to vote out the useless candidates?

So Ah Beng became good boy & went voting today.

My polling centre was usually at the Green Road Secondary School. I haven't been to this school for a loooong time already, not since I was a teenager. You see, I was not from this school but at that time there were chun girls there. But now I was here for a different reason, a more important reason.

I never realised that the school was on a lane with a name like Sockalingam. Or maybe at that time, Sockalingam didn't mean as much as it does now. It looks like Sock Lingam, it sounds like Sock Lingam, but it's not.

I went for my first ever voting back in 98'. At that time, this polling station was packed with people, squeezing their way though with their ICs.

But it's been different eversince. There weren't a lot of people this time. And whoever was there that afternoon was calm & orderly.

After checking my polling info with the officer, I was told that my polling centre was supposed to be at the Green Road PRIMARY School. And that was way across the football field.

So I got back into my car & drove over. When I got there, the first banner I saw said 'Jangan Buang Sampah Merata-Rata' (Don't Throw Rubbish).

There were more.

No Smoking Zone. Drive Slowly. Don't Honk. Stop the engine when waiting near classroom. That's a lot of rules & advice. I found the next one intriguing. It's something like the 3 monkeys. You know, the See, Speak, Hear No Evil?

I Hear & I Forget. Don't you think it just reminds you of BN?

Friday, March 7, 2008

One Last Thing Before You Vote

Tomorrow is the day we decide who will be the new government. Of course it's quite obvious that it will be BN again. And that is why we must be careful when we make our decision. We need to vote for a representative, someone who will SPEAK OUT on our behalf.

If you have not made up your mind yet, you should really read Kenny Sia's interviews with both DAP's Chong Chien Jen & SUPP's Alan Sim. I hope you will be able to see the stark difference between the two.

One last thing, before you vote tomorrow, you should also read this - Malaysia Needs a Strong Opposition. It's another article written by Michael Backman.

Here's an excerpt:
Malaysian electorates are severely malapportioned. The smallest electorates are rural; the largest are metropolitan. The largest have about six times the number of registered voters as the smallest. This means that the votes of those in the smallest seats count for many times those in the larger seats.

This sort of bias meant, for example, that in the last general elections held in 2004, the ruling coalition won 198 or 91% of the parliamentary seats with just 64% of the votes cast. The Opposition won only 21 seats or 9.6% of the seats compared with 36% of the popular vote. Had the Parliament reflected voters' actual voting intentions, there would have been 79 rather than 21 Opposition members elected

Outright fraud is another way in which Malaysians are cheated when they vote. Tens of thousands of dead people are believed to have voted in the 2004 elections.

Also at the last elections, thousands of Malaysians who turned up on polling day found that the electorates in which they were registered had been changed without their permission or knowledge. Thousands of voters were shifted into Opposition-held or marginal electorates. Absurdly, even family members living in the same house discovered that they had been registered in different electorates. Most Malaysians do vote for the ruling coalition, so the effect of this was to swamp the votes for the Opposition.

For those not in the know, Michael Backman is the dude who once equated Malaysia Boleh with Malaysia Bodoh. Sounds juicy eh?

Tonite, as we drove past Chong Lin Park, hundreds of cars were parked everywhere like nobody's business. Apparently Chong Chien Jen was giving the last round of talk. 10,000 people were expected to turn up.

Tomorrow nite, I will be eating kuachee & peanuts in front of the TV, patiently awaiting the results for Sarawak.

Thursday, March 6, 2008

New Mercedez for Ah Beng

It's sometimes quite sad to see all the Ah Beng's on the road with their Zhng cars. They modify their cars cos there's none in the market that suits their taste.

For ekjampel, I saw this car in front of mine at the traffic light this morning. The spoiler on the car was so HUGE that I thought it was an aircraft that missed Ting Pek Khing's airport, and somehow landed at the Jalan Song traffic light junction.

The car was in front of me & I caught it on my handphone.

Well, I'm glad Mercedez has got a new model out now for the many cash-rich Ah Bengs out there, who could never find a car that really suits them - The F700!

Waisayy. So Beng. Can drift o not?

Wahh. So got class. Can drive to play golf.

Hoolamak. Backside even more beautiful.

Ngai Tee! Can even transform.

Look at the console properly guys. When your wife or mother is not around, it has a computer generated Lien to stand in & nag you on the directions & your driving skills.

The inside looks like a living room.

Wednesday, March 5, 2008

The Definition of Women

There have been many times which I've received endless emails with male-bashing jokes that leave me beaten, depressed, not wanting to live anymore, & sometimes worst, not wanting to be male anymore.

But today, it is retribution my brothers! It's getting even, measure for measure, payback, reprisal, retaliation, revenge, tit for tat, tooth for a tooth, vengeance & vindication! MUAHAHA

It's a celebration of the MACHO MALE (with the exception of The Village People). We are strong my brothers! United we stand!

Oh my Gawd, please help me. Sorry boys. Wierd-costumed men are not allowed in this rally.

It is time. Get Ready to Rumble. Ah Beng's Wonderful World presents
The Definition of Women According to Engineers!

Mathematical Engineering

Chemical Engineering

Statistical Probability Engineering

Electrical Engineering

Electronic Circuit Engineering

And finally, we brothers united must stand together & fight against this evil that exists in our world today!In the name of all things male, I compel you! Be Gone Evil!

Tuesday, March 4, 2008

Extra-Terrestrial Contact

I looked into my mailbox just now & I saw this little thing peering up at me from inside.

OH MY GAWD!!! Google has always been my preferred search engine for years now. It has always been something that you read about from the news, something far away & unreachable, that has got nothing with our little lives down here.

This was really something new for me. This is the first time the Great Almighty Google actually made contact with me! Oh I am not worthy!

Curiosty & anxiety mounting, I flipped the card to the other side.

It's Google Adsense! Oh Where have you been? You have finally come home to Papa!

Then my sense of rationale returned. Now why in the world would Google be sending me a mail?
Could it be that somehow my earnings have accumulated to an amount almost exploding, & they've decided to mail it to me???????

With all the might I could muster, & the excitement of a little boy, I ripped the envelope apart like Hulk Hogan.


I should have known. I fell down back to earth & landed on a rock. All my bones were shattered to pieces. What was I thinking? My Google earnings have always been moving like a snail, trickling by the cents. Even a beggar makes more money.

The tortoise retrieves back into it's shell. And Badawi goes back to sleep.

Monday, March 3, 2008

ABDULLAH: The Remaking of Malaysia

I've always thought Lim Kok Wing was the coolest design school around until I came across this:

The description of the book goes like this:

Dato' Seri Abdullah Haji Ahmad Badawi is driven by a vision that is seemingly straight-forward in its objectives-spreading economic development and distributing wealth more equitably across the country: revamping the education system; upgrading the civil service; revitalising the private sector to again assume the role of main engine of growth; strengthening the spirit of political power sharing. (Uhh... right)

But Malaysia's fifth Prime Minister intends to do more than continuing with the ways of the past.
He seeks to do much more and go much further in leading his country into the brave new world of the 21st century. (Uhh... right. Malaysia boleh.)

Already, his policies and open style of governance have resulted in dramatic effects that are reaching deep into the country's society, economy and the minds of Malaysians - and creating transformational change. (Uhh... right. Yes. Change. Yes we can

Yes We Can. Yes We Can. Malaysia Boleh. We can say it loud & say it many times.

But the question remains "Do you know how?". I hope we don't end up fooling ourselves too much.

Digging further into this, I found that this is not the first time that LKW is doing something like this. It's quite scary. He shows symptoms of a serial publisher.

Also hot from Lim Kok Wing:
1. Innovation: The Heartbeat Of A Dynamic Nation
2. Mission 2020: The Final Stretch
3. Innovation Enabling Transformation
4. Abdullah: The Remaking of Malaysia
5. Misi 2020: Langkah Peringkat Terakhir
6. Inspiring Moments
7. Abdullah: Remaking Of Malaysia (Chinese)
8. Mission 2020:The Final Stretch - Chinese
Buy & collect all now!!!!

The three extended fingers with palm facing upwards that I'm holding up now is definitely not for "I love rock" .

Sunday, March 2, 2008

10,000 B.C.

10,000 BC. Sounds a lot like the state of our political system doesn't it?

But seriously, I was thinking about what earth was like at that time.

How did people live?

What was humanity like?

Well, wonder no more! Hollywood has come back with another re-definition of history! Now, don't get me wrong. I love movies like this. Independence Day. Day After Tomorrow. End-of-the-world disasters. And at the end of the day, the Americans come to save the day.

However, I pray the Americans don't appear in 10,000BC. I would hate to see some cavemen coming out onto the screen speaking with a Californian accent.

Release Date: March 7th.
Director: Roland Emmerich